Mirror mirror: the best love story I’ll ever tell

Hey, lovelies! It’s your girl again. Sorry it’s been a while since I shared my views on life love and relationships. I’m here to spill the tea on the best and most important love story I’ll ever tell – the one with myself; the best and most important relationship you’ll ever have – the one with yourself.

Bless the day I understood and embraced the true concept of self-love. We were basically taught to believe someone else would love us, but no one emphasized loving ourselves. I used to be that person who’d drown in the sea of self-doubt, constantly thinking I’m not enough, needing others’ love to feel whole or be seen. While I didn’t chase this validation from others, I longed for it, to be loved in certain way, to be seen in certain way, but it came with conditions.

Eventually, something shifted. I realized I’m worthy of love, not because of what I did or achieved, but simply because I exist, and all the love I was seeking and hoping to get from others was all within me.

So, what is self love?

Self love is the act of loving, appreciating, and treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion and respect you would offer a friend or others.

It is giving yourself permission to prioritize your needs, desires and happiness, while reminding yourself that you deserve them too; protecting your peace, embracing yourself fully, even with your flaws, mistakes and quirks; honoring your own feelings and decisions, which is actually the foundation for resilience, a happy life, healthy boundaries, authentic well being and is also very crucial for preventing burn out and improving mental health.

Loving yourself is the key to inner peace and it is time you stop giving to every other person but yourself.

Why self-love matters:

Here’s why I think self love matters:

• You find peace: for me, self love has helped me grow a great deal and most importantly, I found peace in accepting and loving myself, flaws and all.
• You break cycles: self love has helped me recognize unhealthy patterns, break cycles and create better ones by giving me a strongest sense of self-awareness and self-worth. I was able to recognize pattern that drains me and choose differently, I was able to set boundaries that protect my energy and well-being, I learnt to say no without feeling guilty. With self-love you will be able to notice when your settling for less than you deserve and make amends. It is like an upgrade to your system, you start re-evaluating your choices and begin to navigate towards what’s healthier and happier for you.
• You set the tone for others: a line from an advert that has stayed with me since its inception is this: “if I don’t take care of myself, who will?” When you love yourself you teach others how to love you too.

Here’s how to start your self-love journey

For me, self love started with tiny moments of me looking in the mirror, and asking myself if I’m pleased with who I see, what I needed to do to bring the change I desire. Then I began journaling, spending so much time in self reflection and introspection.

I hope the points below can serve as guide for you too as you begin your journey.

• Start by looking in the mirror and ask if you’re pleased with who you see
• Practice gratitude, journal and reflect on what you love about yourself
• Speak affirmatively to yourself
• Do things that bring you joy, even as simple as just relaxing
• Be gentle with yourself like you would be with a friend
• Set boundaries and learn to say no to what drains you
• Acknowledge and celebrate your wins, big or small
• Identify what is serving you and what’s holding you back
• Recognize your strengths/areas for growth and act accordingly
• Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who align with you.

As I conclude this post, I’ll like to remind you that, self-love is a journey, not a destination. It is not a one-time-fix-all thing. And it is okay to stumble – that’s part of the process, just keep showing up for yourself with kindness and compassion.

So, lovelies, let’s prioritize ourselves and love ourselves fiercely. As I say, “There is love for everyone, but it begins with the one you give yourself.” Love starts within, and that’s where it grows from.

Tell me, what’s one thing you will do today to show yourself love? 😊 Drop your comments.