10 UNBELIEVABLE MYTH ABOUT LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

I’m about to burst your bubbles💭

Myths have the power to control one’s life if we allow them govern our views for long, and many a times we are often so focused on just conforming to the societal standards or definition of love and relationship that we forget to embrace our own internal cues to build an authentic version instead of the fantasy created by the media.

I’ll be debunking some of them in this article, and I’ll like to know your thoughts about it too in the comment section, if possible, add up to it.

Now let’s begin…

#1 Myth: SEX IS KEY IN STRENGTHENING THE BOND IN A RELATIONSHIP

Lol… really, many people have done the unimaginable all in the bid to strengthen their relationship (dating) bond with a guy, coz they believed they could keep the guy by offering him sex. Some would even go  to the extent of learning all sorta sex styles/position just to please him… But, wakey wakey…no matter the sex style you give to him if he’s gonna dump you, he’s gonna do it without hesitating. He’ll serve you ‘hot breakfast…’

But the truth is… though sex is an essential part of a healthy relationship, but such relationship must first have been defined (marriage) and the frequency of sex should be based on the agreement between both partners not because the society says, you and your wife must have sex at least 3 times a week, then you embrace that with all your mind without considering your partner. No. Some may even want it all day, depends, but you must always talk it out with your partner.

Sex is only but a part of a healthy relationship, it is not enough to sustain one.

#2 Myth: YOU HAVE ONLY ONE SOULMATE

The idea of this is kinda true, but the actual truth is that, there are many potential partners out there but you have the possibilities to choose. Among the several billions of people we have in the world, there’s no way you can be attracted to only one, but then, you have to make the choice as to who you want to have that specialty. In fact, the anxieties of never finding ‘the one’ is killing a whole lotta people coz their idea of how or where to meet their soulmate/will of God is somehow weird and mostly based on fantasy.

Listen, there are billions of people in the world, and there’s no 💯 guarantee that the first person you date would be your soulmate.

Moreso, we often believe that soulmate relationships are effortless … Like, my soulmate is supposed to be a mind reader, he should get what I want to say without me saying it. Chances are, you could have spent years together for him to have observed and studied you enough to know your likes and dislikes, but in a healthy relationship, open communication is best.

Man’s idea of soulmate is based on his imagination/what he wants.

#3 Myth: NO LOVE LIKE YOUR FIRST LOVE

This right here, has made many hold onto relationships that no longer adds value to them. Truth is, most of the first love experience are often times when one is still immature, so to say, the needs at that time or understanding of what love is would be a lil shallow. So, you can’t compare the love life of when you were between 15-20 to when you are 25 upward. There would be a whole lotta difference as there would have been a shift in the perception of love. Though the memories of a first love lingers on, doesn’t mean it’s the best form of love you’ll ever experience.

#4 Myth: ARGUMENTS ARE TOTAL RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Truth is, if you’re not arguing at all in your relationship, it’s a good sign, but it could mean you’re just trying to avoid conflicts. The both of you in the relationship are two different people with unique personalities and different upbringing, you definitely won’t agree with everything. Arguing with your partner about such can help you better understand your partner’s perspective and help build a stronger relationship. What’s important is your approach and how you resolve it. Fight fair and right.

#5 Myth: MARRIAGE/BABIES WILL SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

While this may be true for some, it doesn’t mean it’s a standard that should be applicable to all. This may only add undue stress to the partner and the new born baby as well, coz marriage and child bearing has it’s own responsibilities. It’ll only add more strain.

So, while you’re still in the courtship period, if there’s anything of major concern you need to sort, try to get it sorted before saying ‘yes, i do’ coz there’s no guarantee that marrying that person will solve the major concern.

#6 Myth: NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY

Truth is, there are times when the best thing would be to sleep on it and then when you wake up feeling more rested and calm, you can address/approach the issue with more clarity and calmness, coz arguing all night won’t solve but only worsen it.

The one thing I won’t advice is for you to ignore and act like nothing happened while deep down you hate it so much. Don’t say ‘nevermind’ when there’s so much to mind.

#7 Myth: WE HAVE CHEMISTRY, WE ARE MEANT TO BE FOREVER

It’s normal for there to be an attraction, a strong one at that, but these chemistries can only cause an explosion of emotions that may fade off coz the spark won’t always be there. Just excitement in a relationship won’t help you go the distance but as the love grows, and deepens, it takes more than chemistry to last forever.

#8 Myth: YOUR PARTNER WILL HELP FIX/COMPLETE YOU

No partner is a fixer. Although, a healthy relationship can help to heal you naturally but more work is in your hands as an individual. You are whole, with a mind of your own, so it’s a journey of two complete individuals working together to complement one another. You alone have the power to fix yourself, don’t push the responsibility to another.

#9 Myth: JEALOUSY IS A SIGN HE TRULY LOVES YOU

Ahhhh… jealousy is never a good trait, never healthy and it speaks more volume about insecurities. Jealousy would make you act domineering, trying to control your partner and there’s nothing healthy about that. Don’t embrace jealousy as a form of loving to protect your relationship. Love should be built on mutual respect and trust.

#10 Myth: OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Most times when this statement is made, we are quick to say, ‘a dark tall guy is often attracted to a slim fair lady’ or ‘a temperamental person dating a calm partner’, ‘an extrovert with an introvert partner’ e.t.c. but the truth is, the statement ‘opposite attract’ goes beyond the physical but rather, they must have compatibilities on deeper levels e.g goals or values. Most of the ‘opposite attract’ have more commonalities than differences. After all, it’s about finding someone who complements you.

In summary

• Sex is not enough to keep a relationship together.

• Soulmate is the one you choose of many potential partners.

• First love is memorable but ain’t the best form of love you’ll ever experience.

• Healthy arguments are most times needed for a healthy relationship.

• Marriage or child bearing won’t automatically solve the issues you have with your partner.

• It may be okay to not argue all night but rather sleep on it to clarify your mind.

• It takes more than ‘chemistry,’ to build a healthy relationship.

• Your partner is not a fixer to fix you. You’ve got to work on yourself, by yourself and for yourself.

• Jealousy is an unhealthy trait in a relationship.

• Build a relationship with someone whose value and goals align with yours.

Final note…

Don’t build your love/relationship life based on the fantasies you see on the screen, even the fantasies shown on the screen takes certain amount of work. Be authentic in your relationship and trust your internal cues.

In cases where you need help with your relationship, don’t hold back in seeking for help from the right people.

Live life loving.